Stephanie Sieberhagen
Psychologist

Relationship Specialist

Relationships

I specialise in relationship work. Ideally, I like to work with both parties (or with all concerned) but sometimes this is not possible and I am quite happy to see you on your own.


Relationships come in all shapes and sizes, from the very new, to the very old; those between women, men or, women and men or between those who like to define themselves differently. Relationships can be as conventional as marriage or involve more than two parties. They can be between those of the same race, language, culture and background or between people who come from very different places.


One thing that remains true for all relationships is that they are complex and that they improve proportionally to the amount of maintenance one puts into them over time. 


There are some relationships that were just not meant to be. I never recommend that a person stay in an abusive relationship, for example. On the other hand, relationships that feel 'over' can often be saved and improved through some mutual investment from both parties. When families are involved, it is especially vital that every avenue be pursued before a separation is considered.


When we are younger, it is often easier to decide 'they are not for me', as we grow older, this becomes a harder choice to make. Even for our younger generation - the ones we leave so easily when we are young, only in hindsight many years later, might have been the best partners for us. 


But how do you know? It is my belief that society, through what we now call social media, but which really includes what your teacher said in grade 6 and that movie you saw ten years ago and what you overheard at the gym and every other input about relationships, often give us a completely skewed view of what relationships are and what we are supposed to expect from them. We are so fundamentally focused on the other person and also 'what we are getting out of it (or not)', that we are unaware of the true fundamentals of human interaction, co-habitation and communication. 


Make the decision to spend time on finding out before you take a leap. Janice Joplin sang, 'Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose'. I tend to agree. 

If you want to be a real human being - a real woman, a real man - you cannot tolerate things which put you to indignation, to outrage. You must stand up. I always say to people, 'Look around; look at what makes you unhappy, what makes you furious, and then engage yourself in some action.' 


Stephane Hessel